{"id":614,"date":"2021-10-25T14:11:46","date_gmt":"2021-10-25T12:11:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/?p=614"},"modified":"2021-10-25T14:11:47","modified_gmt":"2021-10-25T12:11:47","slug":"v-dobre-vire-ze-deti-naucime-chovat-se-je-snadno-ponizime-v-cem-ve-vychove-nejcasteji-chybujeme","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/?p=614","title":{"rendered":"V dobr\u00e9 v\u00ed\u0159e, \u017ee d\u011bti nau\u010d\u00edme chovat se, je snadno pon\u00ed\u017e\u00edme: V \u010dem ve v\u00fdchov\u011b nej\u010dast\u011bji chybujeme?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Nam\u00edsto v\u00fdchovy v nich vyvol\u00e1me pocity studu na cel\u00fd \u017eivot.
D\u011bti se u\u010d\u00ed z toho, jak se chov\u00e1me, ne z toho, co \u0159\u00edk\u00e1me. Bu\u010fme k nim laskav\u00ed a ch\u00e1pme je, pokud tot\u00e9\u017e vy\u017eadujeme od nich.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

„Laskavost za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 pochopen\u00edm, \u017ee v\u0161ichni bojujeme,“ \u0159ekl Charles Glassman. Je to skute\u010dn\u011b tak. Ka\u017ed\u00fd z n\u00e1s m\u00e1 sv\u00e9 vnit\u0159n\u00ed konflikty a sv\u00e9 mal\u00e9 v\u00e1lky v sob\u011b sam\u00e9m, sv\u00e9 dilemata a situace, se kter\u00fdmi si dlouho mus\u00ed d\u00e1vat rady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I d\u011bti, a\u010dkoli ob\u010das m\u00e1me pocit, \u017ee jejich se to net\u00fdk\u00e1. My dosp\u011bl\u00ed si \u010dasto mysl\u00edme, \u017ee to, s \u010d\u00edm z\u00e1pas\u00ed d\u00edt\u011b, je malichern\u00e9, ned\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 a rychle to p\u0159ejde. Mnohem v\u00edce bychom jim v\u0161ak do \u017eivota dali, pokud bychom jim tu laskavost projevovali v\u00edce. Proto\u017ee d\u00edt\u011b se u\u010d\u00ed z toho, jak se chov\u00e1me my, ne z toho, co mu \u0159\u00edk\u00e1me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vybavte si v hlav\u011b posledn\u00ed situaci, kdy se va\u0161e d\u00edt\u011b chovalo nevhodn\u011b. Nap\u0159\u00edklad m\u011blo hysterick\u00fd z\u00e1chvat, hodilo v hn\u011bvu a s pl\u00e1\u010dem n\u011bco o zem, rozta\u017een\u00fdmi j\u00eddlo po tal\u00ed\u0159i m\u00edsto po\u0159\u00e1dn\u00e9ho jeden\u00ed nebo opakovan\u011b lezlo v bot\u00e1ch na gau\u010d, p\u0159esto\u017ee jste stokr\u00e1t \u0159ekli, \u017ee se to ned\u011bl\u00e1 a ono jak naschv\u00e1l to st\u00e1le opakuje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Takov\u00fdch situac\u00ed by ka\u017ed\u00fd rodi\u010d v\u011bd\u011bl jmenovat tis\u00edce. Proto\u017ee to je naprosto norm\u00e1ln\u00ed. D\u011bti se jen u\u010d\u00ed, jak tento sv\u011bt funguje, u\u010d\u00ed se, co se m\u016f\u017ee a co se ned\u011bl\u00e1, nemaj\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9 p\u0159edchoz\u00ed zku\u0161enosti a prost\u011b nev\u011bd\u00ed. Tak pro\u010d bychom je za to m\u011bli ok\u0159ikovat, trestat a poni\u017eovat?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cel\u00fd \u017eivot v hanb\u011b
Jane Nelsenov\u00e1 postavila svou strategii na mnoha psychologick\u00fdch studi\u00edch a na sv\u00fdch n\u011bkolikalet\u00fdch zku\u0161enostech pr\u00e1ce s d\u011btmi a rodi\u010di. V\u0161imla si, \u017ee rodi\u010de maj\u00ed \u010dasto pocit, \u017ee na to, aby se d\u00edt\u011b za\u010dalo chovat l\u00e9pe, se mus\u00ed nejprve c\u00edtit h\u016f\u0159.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A tak ho trestaj\u00ed, ok\u0159ikl, vyhro\u017euj\u00ed mu z pozice moci, nebo\u0165 v\u011b\u0159\u00ed tomu, \u017ee jejich v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed vzr\u016fst a vy\u0161\u0161\u00ed v\u011bk jim d\u00e1v\u00e1 pr\u00e1vo chovat se k t\u011bm mali\u010dk\u00fdm lidem dehonestuj\u00edc\u00ed. Zn\u00ed to stra\u0161n\u011b, kdy\u017e si to takto p\u0159e\u010dtete, v\u0161ak?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u011bti se v\u0161ak chovaj\u00ed l\u00e9pe tehdy, kdy\u017e se c\u00edt\u00ed l\u00e9pe. A jak se mohou po k\u0159iku c\u00edtit l\u00e9pe? Nelsenov\u00e1 se v knize pt\u00e1: „Odkud jsme p\u0159i\u0161li na tu bl\u00e1znivou my\u0161lenku, \u017ee d\u011bti se budou chovat l\u00e9pe, kdy\u017e se nejprve budou c\u00edtit h\u016f\u0159? Vzpome\u0148te si na posledn\u00ed situaci, kdy jste se c\u00edtili pon\u00ed\u017een\u011b nebo jste m\u011bli pocit, \u017ee se k v\u00e1m n\u011bkdo choval nespravedliv\u011b. M\u011bli jste chu\u0165 spolupracovat nebo se chovat l\u00e9pe? „<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To, co Nelsenov\u00e1 vol\u00e1 vina, stud a bolest, je velmi roz\u0161\u00ed\u0159en\u00e1 praktika ve v\u00fdchov\u011b. My si to mo\u017en\u00e1 neuv\u011bdomujeme, ale my d\u011bti poni\u017eovat a ubli\u017eujeme jim. Pod\u00edvej se, co jsi ud\u011blal. To jak sed\u00ed\u0161 za t\u00edm stolem? Bo\u017ee, nev\u00ed\u0161 norm\u00e1ln\u011b dr\u017eet tu l\u017ei\u010dku, v\u0161e ti z n\u00ed pad\u00e1. Cel\u00e1 si \u0161pinav\u00e1, to co si d\u011blala? To jak ses obl\u00e9kl? M\u016f\u017ee\u0161 m\u011b alespo\u0148 na chvilku nechat, jak ti m\u00e1m p\u0159ipravit ob\u011bd, kdy\u017e st\u00e1le n\u011bco chce\u0161?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00edt\u00edte to tam? Kdy\u017e se na d\u00edt\u011b pod\u00edv\u00e1me a se zd\u011b\u0161ena, p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b znechucen\u00fdm v\u00fdrazem ve tv\u00e1\u0159i v\u0161imneme, \u017ee neum\u00ed ani l\u017e\u00edci po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b dr\u017eet v ruce, d\u011bl\u00e1me z n\u011bj neschopnou lidskou bytost a pon\u00ed\u017eil ho. To d\u00edt\u011b se c\u00edt\u00ed trapn\u011b. Styd\u00ed se a c\u00edt\u00ed se pon\u00ed\u017een\u011b. \u010casto to d\u011bl\u00e1me i proto, \u017ee si mysl\u00edme, \u017ee takto d\u00edt\u011b motivujeme k lep\u0161\u00edmu v\u00fdkonu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pokud bude t\u011bchto situac\u00ed za\u017e\u00edvat p\u0159\u00edli\u0161, bude cel\u00fd \u017eivot c\u00edtit jakousi toxickou ostudu, kter\u00e1 ho bude u\u017e\u00edrat za\u017eiva. Bude se v\u00edce zaj\u00edmat o to, co si druz\u00ed mysl\u00ed jako o to, co chce ono samo. Nam\u00edsto vlastn\u00edho vnit\u0159n\u00edho napln\u011bn\u00ed a spokojenosti se sebou sam\u00fdm bude hledat uzn\u00e1n\u00ed zven\u010d\u00ed, uzn\u00e1n\u00ed jin\u00fdch osob. A za v\u0161echno, co mu nevyjde zcela dokonale, se bude styd\u011bt, jako kdyby ud\u011blalo nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed chybu na sv\u011bt\u011b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u017eijte se do toho
\u010casto to d\u011bl\u00e1me i proto, \u017ee si mysl\u00edme, \u017ee takto d\u00edt\u011b motivujeme k lep\u0161\u00edmu v\u00fdkonu. Je to ale skute\u010dn\u011b tak? Vyzkou\u0161ejte si toto cvi\u010den\u00ed z knihy Pozitivn\u00ed discipl\u00edna:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

„Zav\u0159ete o\u010di a vzpome\u0148te si na posledn\u00ed situaci, nebo situaci z va\u0161eho d\u011btstv\u00ed, kdy\u017e se v\u00e1s n\u011bkdo sna\u017eil motivovat t\u00edm, \u017ee se nejprve postaral o to, abyste se c\u00edtili \u0161patn\u011b. Vzpome\u0148te si, co p\u0159esn\u011b se stalo. Spojte se se sv\u00fdmi pocity. Uv\u011bdomte si, co jste si tehdy mysleli o sob\u011b, o t\u00e9 druh\u00e9 osob\u011b, o tom, jak se chovat v budoucnosti. C\u00edtili jste se motivov\u00e1ni k lep\u0161\u00edmu v\u00fdkonu? Pokud ano, byl to dobr\u00fd pocit, nebo to byl pocit postaven na negativn\u00edch pocitech ze sebe sam\u00e9ho nebo z t\u00e9 druh\u00e9 osoby? C\u00edtili jste se motivov\u00e1ni vzd\u00e1t se nebo se skr\u00fdvat, abyste se vyhnuli pon\u00ed\u017een\u00ed v budoucnu? Nebo jste se cht\u011bli st\u00e1t z\u00e1visl\u00fdm od uzn\u00e1n\u00ed a vzd\u00e1t se velk\u00e9 \u010d\u00e1sti sebe sama jen proto, abyste ulahodily druh\u00fdm? „<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ka\u017ed\u00fd d\u011bl\u00e1me chyby, a d\u011bti je d\u011blaj\u00ed n\u011bkolikan\u00e1sobn\u011b v\u00edce, proto\u017ee ony prost\u011b je\u0161t\u011b nev\u011bd\u00ed, jak se v\u011bci maj\u00ed d\u011blat. To nejsou mal\u00ed dosp\u011bl\u00ed, kter\u00fdm sta\u010d\u00ed dvakr\u00e1t \u0159\u00edci a v\u0161e ovl\u00e1daj\u00ed. Jsou to d\u011bti, kter\u00e9 jsou zraniteln\u00e9 a v\u00edce ne\u017e k\u0159ik pot\u0159ebuj\u00ed podporu, aby mohli pokra\u010dovat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nam\u00edsto v\u00fdchovy v nich vyvol\u00e1me pocity studu na cel\u00fd \u017eivot.D\u011bti se u\u010d\u00ed z toho, jak se chov\u00e1me, ne z toho, co \u0159\u00edk\u00e1me. Bu\u010fme k nim laskav\u00ed a ch\u00e1pme je, pokud tot\u00e9\u017e vy\u017eadujeme od nich. „Laskavost za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 pochopen\u00edm, \u017ee v\u0161ichni bojujeme,“ \u0159ekl Charles Glassman. Je to skute\u010dn\u011b tak. Ka\u017ed\u00fd z n\u00e1s m\u00e1 sv\u00e9 vnit\u0159n\u00ed konflikty a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":615,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[262],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-magazin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=614"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":617,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614\/revisions\/617"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}