{"id":618,"date":"2021-10-25T14:14:20","date_gmt":"2021-10-25T12:14:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/?p=618"},"modified":"2021-10-25T14:14:21","modified_gmt":"2021-10-25T12:14:21","slug":"muze-rodic-zarlit-na-sve-dite-tento-problem-je-castejsi-nez-si-myslite-trochu-vic-zarli-mamy-na-dcery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/?p=618","title":{"rendered":"M\u016f\u017ee rodi\u010d \u017e\u00e1rlit na sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b? Tento probl\u00e9m je \u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, ne\u017e si mysl\u00edte, trochu v\u00edc \u017e\u00e1rl\u00ed m\u00e1my na dcery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ano, jsou i tac\u00ed rodi\u010de, kte\u0159\u00ed na sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b \u017e\u00e1rl\u00ed a m\u00e1 to n\u011bkolik d\u016fvod\u016f. Zejm\u00e9na matky ve vztahu k dcer\u00e1m, dok\u00e1\u017e\u00ed pro\u017e\u00edvat pocity \u017e\u00e1rlivosti b\u011b\u017en\u011b. Pro\u010d?
Pro\u010d rodi\u010de \u017e\u00e1rl\u00ed na sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b?
Mo\u017en\u00e1 v\u00e1m p\u0159ijde scestn\u00e9, aby rodi\u010d \u017e\u00e1rlil na sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b. V\u017edy\u0165 p\u0159ece ka\u017ed\u00fd by se m\u011bl z \u00fasp\u011bchu d\u00edt\u011bte radovat. Nen\u00ed jedna z radost\u00ed rodi\u010dovstv\u00ed vychovat d\u00edt\u011b tak, aby se v dosp\u011blosti m\u011blo l\u00e9pe ne\u017e my? Pro n\u011bkter\u00e9 z\u0159ejm\u011b ne; n\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed rodi\u010de berou \u00fasp\u011bch a nes\u010detn\u00e9 mo\u017enosti se z\u00e1vistiv\u00fdm bodnut\u00edm u srdce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Profesorka filozofie Jiskra Fileva upozor\u0148uje, \u017ee rodi\u010dovsk\u00e1 \u017e\u00e1rlivost je \u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e p\u0159edpokl\u00e1d\u00e1me. Zab\u00fdv\u00e1 se podv\u011bdom\u00fdmi motivy a jejich souvislost\u00ed s na\u0161\u00edm v\u011bdom\u00fdm chov\u00e1n\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fileva tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee mno\u017estv\u00ed rodi\u010d\u016f, zejm\u00e9na matky ve vztahu k dcer\u00e1m, dok\u00e1\u017e\u00ed pro\u017e\u00edvat pocity \u017e\u00e1rlivosti b\u011b\u017en\u011b. D\u00edt\u011b nemus\u00ed b\u00fdt \u00fasp\u011b\u0161n\u00e9, ke \u017e\u00e1rlivosti sta\u010d\u00ed lep\u0161\u00ed vztah s otcem (se kter\u00fdm matka tak v\u0159el\u00fd vztah nem\u00e1), nebo jen ml\u00e1d\u00ed a kr\u00e1sa v rozpuku. Tento probl\u00e9m je v\u0161ak komplexn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je smutn\u00e1 pravda, \u017ee v\u011bt\u0161ina lid\u00ed si v dosp\u011blosti l\u00e9\u010d\u00ed r\u00e1ny z d\u011btstv\u00ed.
Dcera jako konkurent
\u017d\u00e1rlivost jako takov\u00e1 m\u00e1 n\u011bkolik d\u016fvod\u016f. Profesor psychologie na Georgetownsk\u00e9 univerzit\u011b, Gerrod Parrott, nab\u00edz\u00ed nejjednodu\u0161\u0161\u00ed definici.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

„\u017d\u00e1rlivost je odpov\u011b\u010f na vn\u00edmanou hrozbu d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9ho vztahu. \u010c\u00e1st na\u0161eho sebeobrazu tvo\u0159\u00ed i to, jak s n\u00e1mi ostatn\u00ed zach\u00e1zej\u00ed. A pokud osoba, kter\u00e1 je pro n\u00e1s d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e1, p\u0159esm\u011bruje toto kr\u00e1sn\u00e9 zach\u00e1zen\u00ed k n\u011bkomu jin\u00e9mu, c\u00edt\u00edme nejistotu a jakousi ztr\u00e1tu identity. „<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mnoho matek, kter\u00e9 jsou zvykl\u00e9 na neomezenou pozornost partnera, sn\u00e1\u0161ej\u00ed velmi t\u011b\u017eko, pokud partner pozornost a p\u00e9\u010di p\u0159esm\u011bruje na d\u00edt\u011b. Maj\u00ed dojem, \u017ee p\u0159ich\u00e1zej\u00ed o to, co pat\u0159ilo jen jim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otec za\u010dne naz\u00fdvat dcerku „zlat\u00ed\u010dko, srd\u00ed\u010dkem“, v\u00fdrazy, kter\u00e9 d\u0159\u00edve pat\u0159ily jen man\u017eelce. Je jeho mal\u00fdm d\u011bv\u010d\u00e1tkem, a matka c\u00edt\u00ed, jakoby ztr\u00e1cela v \u017eivot\u011b partnera d\u016fle\u017eitost a postaven\u00ed. Pokud se vztah otce a matky neupev\u0148uje i po d\u00edt\u011bti, matka \u017e\u00e1rl\u00ed na vztah, jak\u00fd<\/p>\n\n\n\n

m\u00e1 dcera s otcem. Za\u010dne ji br\u00e1t jako konkurenci, kter\u00e1 ji ob\u00edr\u00e1 o man\u017eelovu p\u0159\u00edze\u0148 a pozornost. Dokonce ji m\u016f\u017ee vinit, \u017ee zap\u0159\u00ed\u010dinila ochladnut\u00ed vztah\u016f mezi nimi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Narcistick\u00e1 matka miluje pouze pokud d\u00edt\u011b pln\u00ed jej\u00ed p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed
Doktorka Karyl McBride potvrzuje, \u017ee z\u00e1vist matek v\u016f\u010di dcer\u00e1m je velmi \u010dast\u00e1 a souvis\u00ed s narcistick\u00fd sklony. Narcistn\u00ed matky jsou egoistick\u00e9, o \u010dem p\u00ed\u0161e ve sv\u00e9 knize Budu v\u016fbec n\u011bkdy dost dobr\u00e1? Cen pro dcery narcistick\u00fd matek (zakoup\u00edte v \u010desk\u00e9m p\u0159ekladu).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Matky u\u010d\u00ed dcery, \u017ee l\u00e1ska je podm\u00edn\u011bn\u00e1, \u017ee je budou milovat jen za ur\u010dit\u00fdch okolnost\u00ed – tedy pokud budou v o\u010d\u00edch matky dokonal\u00e9, co\u017e se v\u0161ak nikdy nestane. Dcery z\u00e1vistiv\u00fdch narcistick\u00fd matek vyr\u016fstaj\u00ed v pochybnostech o sob\u011b. Sna\u017eili se b\u00fdt matkou Lube a p\u0159ij\u00edm\u00e1ny, proto odignorovali sv\u00e9 pot\u0159eby a p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed a plnily ty mat\u010diny. Ale, jak McBride tvrd\u00ed, nikdy se nec\u00edtili pro matku dost dobr\u00e9, aby si z\u00edskaly jej\u00ed plnou l\u00e1sku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Promarn\u011bna ml\u00e1d\u00ed ztracen\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitosti
\u017d\u00e1rlivost se v\u0161ak nevyh\u00fdb\u00e1 ani mu\u017e\u016fm. Znala jsem rodinu, ve kter\u00e9 byl mlad\u00fd, dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed mu\u017e trnem v oku sv\u00e9ho otce. Jejich vztah se tv\u00e1\u0159il na oko v po\u0159\u00e1dku, ale p\u0159i bli\u017e\u0161\u00edm zkoum\u00e1n\u00ed byl probl\u00e9m velmi viditeln\u00fd. Otec se o\u017eenil s matkou kv\u016fli nepl\u00e1novan\u00e9mu t\u011bhotenstv\u00ed, av\u0161ak nikdy to nebylo \u0161\u0165astn\u00e9 man\u017eelstv\u00ed. Na syna \u017e\u00e1rlil, proto\u017ee byl mlad\u00fd, mohl si za\u0159\u00eddit sv\u016fj \u017eivot podle sebe, m\u011bl ho cel\u00fd p\u0159ed sebou – co\u017e otec nem\u011bl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jak je z\u0159ejm\u00e9, rodi\u010de \u010dasto nejsou spokojeni se sv\u00fdmi \u017eivoty a to z r\u016fzn\u00fdch d\u016fvod\u016f. Nesplnily si sen, \u017eij\u00ed v ne\u0161\u0165astn\u00e9m man\u017eelstv\u00ed, maj\u00ed neuspokojivou pr\u00e1ci a jsou p\u0159esv\u011bd\u010deni, \u017ee je to nem\u011bnn\u00fd status. Z\u00e1vid\u00ed sv\u00fdm d\u011btem ml\u00e1d\u00ed a fakt, \u017ee maj\u00ed na v\u00fdb\u011br, kde\u017eto oni (aspo\u0148 si to mysl\u00ed) u\u017e ne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Pozoruj\u00ed sv\u00e9 d\u011bti, jak si u\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed \u017eivota, p\u0159i\u010dem\u017e oni sami \u017eij\u00ed tent\u00fd\u017e den u\u017e n\u011bkolik desetilet\u00ed. Je snaz\u0161\u00ed p\u0159echov\u00e1vat negativn\u00ed pocity a vinit za n\u011b d\u00edt\u011b, ne\u017e si p\u0159iznat probl\u00e9m a nabrat odvahu ke zm\u011bn\u011b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kdy\u017e d\u011bti maj\u00ed to, co rodi\u010d nikdy nem\u011bl
Vztahov\u00e1 expertka Weena Cullins vid\u00ed \u017e\u00e1rlivost v n\u011b\u010dem jin\u00e9m. „M\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt obt\u00ed\u017en\u00e9 vyrovnat se s faktem, \u017ee poskytnete sv\u00fdm d\u011btem p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitosti, kter\u00e9 jste vy sami jako d\u011bti nem\u011bli.“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cullins tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee n\u011bkter\u00e9 matky bojuj\u00ed s pocitem z\u00e1visti a \u017e\u00e1rlivosti pr\u00e1v\u011b proto, \u017ee nem\u011bli tolik p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitost\u00ed rozv\u00edjet se, cestovat a podobn\u011b. N\u011bkter\u00e9 to p\u0159ekonaj\u00ed a dop\u0159ej\u00ed d\u011btem rozvoj, jin\u00e9 zak\u00e1\u017eou co jim bylo nep\u0159\u00edstupn\u00e9. Spisovatelka a psycholo\u017eka Terri Apter vysv\u011btluje, \u017ee n\u011bkdy se z\u00e1vist maskuje za p\u00e9\u010di.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ano, jsou i tac\u00ed rodi\u010de, kte\u0159\u00ed na sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b \u017e\u00e1rl\u00ed a m\u00e1 to n\u011bkolik d\u016fvod\u016f. Zejm\u00e9na matky ve vztahu k dcer\u00e1m, dok\u00e1\u017e\u00ed pro\u017e\u00edvat pocity \u017e\u00e1rlivosti b\u011b\u017en\u011b. Pro\u010d?Pro\u010d rodi\u010de \u017e\u00e1rl\u00ed na sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b?Mo\u017en\u00e1 v\u00e1m p\u0159ijde scestn\u00e9, aby rodi\u010d \u017e\u00e1rlil na sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b. V\u017edy\u0165 p\u0159ece ka\u017ed\u00fd by se m\u011bl z \u00fasp\u011bchu d\u00edt\u011bte radovat. Nen\u00ed jedna z radost\u00ed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":619,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[262],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-618","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-magazin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/618","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=618"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/618\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":621,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/618\/revisions\/621"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=618"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=618"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/krkouni.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=618"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}